All About Me :)

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I was born in Sitka, Alaska in 1983. My parents divorced when I was 5, and I spent my childhood and teens moving back and forth between parents. So, I grew up in Anchorage, Sitka, and Juneau. But, I call Sitka home. I graduated in 2000. I should have gone to college - but didn't. I met my husband in 2002, let him marry me in 2003 :), and had a daughter with him in 2004. She is the pure JOY in our lives. My husband is AD in the United States Coast Guard. This means that life is never boring, and if it is- hey! we get to move every 3 or 4 years. He is currently a DC (Damage Controlman) 2nd class - working on making 1st class. You can also find me on

26 June, 2008

Normally I'm One For...

Following doctors orders. But now, I'm contemplating... well, not.
During my last visit with the Doctor he said to wait for two cycles before taking the Clomid again. Well, AF has started today and I'm contemplating just refilling my 'script and goin' for it. I'm tired of playing a never ending waiting game.
I know that my body needs to heal, but I feel like if I started my menstrual cycle back up, it HAS healed. Of course I want to be as healthy as possible before I get pregnant again... I don't want my body's unpreparedness to result in another m/c - but just how important is it to wait?
I honestly don't know.
Anyone have ideas, or suggestions? Maybe some BTDT's?
My heart just aches, I want this to happen already...

22 June, 2008


All of it! I fucking QUIT.
Take this Clomid, and shove it up someones ASS.

I'm am SO tired of watching stupid, moronic, selfish, immature little girls get pregnant.
They are in NO position to be bringing a child in to this world. NONE.
They can't even take care of themselves for fuck's sake. Their relationships are unstable, they are unstable, they have no judgment. They can't even make decisions for THEMSELVES. They feel the need to constantly be asking people "what do I do?" "what do I do?".
For starters you stupid cows, get your asses on birth control. Start solving your own problems instead of needing other people to hold your hand.
Get a fucking brain, that way you will be able to see that the relationship that you are currently in is NOT one that a child should be brought in to.

... I'm just fucking pissed, and I fucking QUIT! If "God" wants to hand out children to all the fuckups, then maybe I need to start being one. It seems that those are the only kinds of people who are receiving such a blessing lately.

20 June, 2008

The List So Far:

Did some looking around and talking with DH. We know that these places might change after transfer season, but... here they are, in no particular order:

Yorktown, VA
Ilwaco, WA
South Portland, ME
Tok, AK
Astoria, OR
Warrenton, OR
Kodiak, AK

Aguidilla, PR
Nerport, RI
Honolulu, HI (CGC Walnut)
North Bend, OR
Humbolt Bay, CA
Port Angeles, WA
Kapolei, HI (Air Station)
Old San Juan, PR


15 June, 2008

On The Road Again...

... Just can't wait to get on the roa...
K, I'll shut up.
I want to leave here.
I NEED to leave here.
I'm tired of being bored all the time. I miss my friends, I miss my family. By this time next year we should be outta here. I just wish I could fast forward my blog to that time and be able to see where we're going. Oh well, this post will be fun to look back on.
Dh and I are discussing him going to a LORAN station in either Tok Alaska, Attu Alaska, or Port Clarance Alaska.
All three are open to him for the '09 transfer season. It's a really big decision as it means spending a year apart. He'll have the opportunity to see us I believe, after the first 6 months or so. But, to me it's almost be such a big teaser that I'd just rather him stay there.
Of course, I say that NOW.
I have SO many questions about these places, and I'm really not sure who to ask. I have a pretty large source of experts available per CC's, but even there it doesn't seem like there are many who know very much.
My biggest concern is what kind of pay we'd be looking at. A big motivator for us is the possibility of saving $ while he's at a LORAN. Plus, from what I understand, DD and I would be able to stay in a place of our choosing for the duration of his tour. This is GREAT, because I'd have my family and friends to entertain, annoy, and keep me company me at all hours of the day.
On the other hand, I'm really not 100% sure if I want to be back in the fishbowl. I'm just so confused, and I hate the not knowing aspect of this life. I like to plan, and know exactly what is going to happen and when.
Of course, this little notion of mine needs to be thrown out the window or I'm going to be sorely disappointed.
There are some other really promising locations that will be available to us also. One of them is Astoria Oregon.
It's a place I visited when I was 16 and absolutely FELL in love with. I knew after my first day there that it was definitely a place I would return to some day.

I wish I had someone that I could ask "So, what so I do?" and they'd have all the correct answers for me. I have told DH that my activeness in where we "go next" will increase dramatically after being stationed here.
I know we have very little control over where we will be stationed in the future, for all of the transfer seasons ahead of us in DH's career. But, I will do my damnedest to never, EVER end up in a place like this again.
The upside? Every location seems great as of now. When you're at the bottom of the barrel, the only place to go - is up.

14 June, 2008

For Fuck's Sake!

Will someone tell her to STFU already?! Can't you just be fucking happy that you get pregnant "just by laying in bed next to a man" ?! Is it really THAT fucking hard, are you SO dense that you can't see how selfish, immature, and INSENSITIVE you come off?!
Oh you POOR thing! What's that you say... you've got a bit of acne and you're already not fitting in to your clothes? Awwww, hang on a second...
I almost felt bad for ya!
... and, this has NOTHING to do with the fact that you aren't American. So, don't try to play the petty bullshit feel-sorry-for-me card.

11 June, 2008

Now We Wait...

I've been instructed to wait two cycles before trying the Clomid again. It is so hard, because I want my body to be healthy and ready for a new pregnancy. But, at the same time it feels like I'm just wasting more time here. I just want to DO this already.
I had a hard time with morning sickness when I was pregnant with DD - I'm sure that's going to happen again, and I'd just like to get it over with.
It still really feels like everyone around me is popping up pregnant. It's so hard to deal with, but at the same time I really am honestly happy for them.
AF still hasn't returned here - I'm wondering when she'll show back up so I can count our first cycle of waiting. Thought about picking up some condoms to use as protection for now - but shit, I haven't used BC or a back up method since I had DD, why start now?
Then again, wouldn't that be funny...