I didn't follow up with my last TTC subject - I've decided to "meet in the middle", so to speak with the Clomid issue.
I have skipped this month, and will take it next month. I am starting to get to the point where I'm not sure if I can do this anymore. The waiting, and the planning, and the scheduling and the watching the calender **gah!!** it's just so stressful.
Maybe it's just not in the "plan" for me to have another child (??) It really saddens me to think about that. It isn't that I'm not appreciative of having DD, because I am - I love that pain in the ass SO much. I just want to experience it again. I was a rare breed who, other than the 4 months of incessant puking due to morning sickness, really enjoyed being pregnant. Labor and delivery hurt like a bitch, but it was something that had/has a HUGE payoff. To see that little being for the first time... ohhh... that feeling. And the process of getting to know them - I want to do all those things all over again.
I want to see DD be a big sister, I want her to have a sibling while growing up, and I want to see DH be a father again. He does SO well with DD, and she is SO enamored with him... I love being able to fall in love all over again with him everyday as he does new things with her.
I'm just tired of my heart breaking. I want to be like "everyone else", who just gets pregnant, and has a baby.
All About Me :)
- Tigerlilly
- I was born in Sitka, Alaska in 1983. My parents divorced when I was 5, and I spent my childhood and teens moving back and forth between parents. So, I grew up in Anchorage, Sitka, and Juneau. But, I call Sitka home. I graduated in 2000. I should have gone to college - but didn't. I met my husband in 2002, let him marry me in 2003 :), and had a daughter with him in 2004. She is the pure JOY in our lives. My husband is AD in the United States Coast Guard. This means that life is never boring, and if it is- hey! we get to move every 3 or 4 years. He is currently a DC (Damage Controlman) 2nd class - working on making 1st class. You can also find me on myspace.com/alaskanprincess
3 comments:
((hug))
I'm sorry your dealing with this. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I hope you get what you want, and soon!!
I was also a rare breed who LOVED being pregnant. And birth was awesome.
I know sometimes we can't explain things but know that you will be a mom again I believe that and you have to believe that...Keep your head up lady...
I tagged you in my blog! :)
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