Lately I've really been feeling like I might change my mind about halting the TTC "plan". A lot of it was because I felt like I was having a lot of stress going on, especially with waiting for orders, and feeling like if DH had gotten the LORAN station in St. Paul, we'd be out of here in January, so that wouldn't leave me enough time anyways.
But now, with most likely not leaving until May, and going to an area where there won't be a Fertility Specialist - I'm starting to have second thoughts. Plus, if the 1st Clomid pregnancy would have stuck around - I'd be due to have my baby any day now. I can't stop thinking about that, and how happy we would all be.
I feel like I should go to Memphis, at LEAST to find out why I have trouble getting pregnant on my own, AND why I miscarry so often.
Maybe it's unfair of me to halt this whole thing, without even REALLY knowing what the problem is. What if it's a really simple fix? ... And, the bigger question: what if it works?
Something is going on with my body, this amount of miscarriages just isn't normal, right, or healthy.
I'm kinda scared of what to expect though. And scared about the drive to Memphis. I'm a small town girl, and long distance driving is known to give me panic attacks. I have Xanax and a Garmin, so I'm sure I'd be fine.
i just wish I knew more of what testing to expect, and more information about the FS up there. I can't even remember what the OB/GYN said his name was. It sounded like he was knowledgeable and had a good reputation though.
In order for me to see the specialist, I'm going to have to make an appointment with Dr. Blackwood in Cleveland MS and get the referral from him. I think I'm going to wait until after the new year before I make that call.
Hopefully, they'd even be able to get me in to the specialist in a reasonable amount of time - I don't even know how busy places like that are.
I wish there was someone closer to Greenville that I could see for all this stuff. It's going to kill me gas $$ wise if I'm constantly making 4 hour roundtrips up to Memphis...
All About Me :)
- Tigerlilly
- I was born in Sitka, Alaska in 1983. My parents divorced when I was 5, and I spent my childhood and teens moving back and forth between parents. So, I grew up in Anchorage, Sitka, and Juneau. But, I call Sitka home. I graduated in 2000. I should have gone to college - but didn't. I met my husband in 2002, let him marry me in 2003 :), and had a daughter with him in 2004. She is the pure JOY in our lives. My husband is AD in the United States Coast Guard. This means that life is never boring, and if it is- hey! we get to move every 3 or 4 years. He is currently a DC (Damage Controlman) 2nd class - working on making 1st class. You can also find me on myspace.com/alaskanprincess
3 comments:
Man, if I were closer, I'd be in the driver's seat taking you to Memphis, friend. You do what your gut's telling you. There's not any reason now why you can't at least look for answers. It doesn't mean you have to start invasive fertility treatment, it is just you looking into what's going on with you.
I love ya.
I agree with what Amber said, you don't have to pursue aggressive fertility treatments.. but it would be comforting (at least to me), if they could find out what's going on.
I think you have to follow your heart, and if there are resources nearby (well, somewhat close) that you can use go for it.
If you need anything, just let me know. (hug)
I'm thrilled that you are thinking about finding out what can be done, and glad you aren't throwing in the towel yet. I totally believe in the 'what if it's an easy fix' thing (and I might have told you that already :P)And hey, a trip to Memphis means more than driving--it will get you out of MS for a few days! That should be worth the road-trip worries, right? Big hugs, Roni.
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